One Step at a Time

One Step at a Time

This is the journey I have been on for the last couple of years. As David and I have been seeking Jesus for His guidance as to what we should be doing with the rest of our lives. It has been a slow and steady process of taking just one step and only one step at a time.

If I were to put a timeline together for this season in my walk, I believe I would have to start with the Tiara Ladies preparing for a retreat. We had decided to do a retreat at Breath of Life in Pine over the Labor Day Weekend of 2017. Our lovely ladies that attend our retreats fall into two categories, those that sign up right away and those that wait until the last minute. But by the beginning of August we only had one person sign up and absolutely no one else even saying they were interested. At that point we felt like we needed to take a step back and hear from Jesus about whether to go forward and pray in more ladies or cancel the retreat or possibly step away from Tiara Ladies as a ministry. I think we all felt like we were missing something and chose to cancel the retreat and meet together in the mountains over that same weekend.

We rented a large cabin and were a little surprised when we got there to see what it actually was like. The bedrooms and bathrooms upstairs were laid out in a bazaar manner, as if someone had just added them on willynilly. The stairs were creaky and kind of scary to walk up. And the décor was eastern with a Buddhist and Hindu theme. Even though there were pictures on the website it did not show some of the shortcomings. But we decided to make the best of it and we ventured on with the mini retreat. It did have some amazing outdoor spaces which we took full advantage of in the morning.

That evening after we ate, we met together in the living room to do an exercise that our lovely friend Jenny had sent to us.  This exercise incorporated art with Scripture. We first worshipped with song, took time with a passage from the Bible and then spent alone time listening to Holy Spirit. We each then drew what it was that we were hearing, seeing, feeling, sensing from God.  For some of us this was difficult, as we are not comfortable expressing ourselves through drawing. As we were sharing what our pictures meant to us and what Holy Spirit was speaking to us individually and corporately the electricity went out because of the storm that was going on outside. We found candles and finished that part of the discussion. And even though it was early, we decided to go to bed. We set the coffee maker and brushed our teeth and went to sleep.

In the morning, as we each got up, we got our coffee and went and sat on the deck. It was a beautiful and peaceful morning. Fresh from the rains the night before. Birds and squirrels and elk were our companions. We would sit in silence, we would chat, we would share what was going on in our walks, there was no agenda and there was no hurry and it was so completely what we were supposed to do in that moment. It was probably one of my most “spiritual” encounters of any retreat I have been to, up to that point. We kept returning to what we had experienced the night before with the art exercise and how we could take that to a group of ladies at retreat.

Later that day we talked about how perfect the morning had been. No alarms had been set. Some woke up early and others got some much-needed rest. We had made no plans but allowed Holy Spirit to lead us and our conversations. This became the basis for our Creative Catalyst Retreat.  Art inspired worship and no plans.  Just a rough timeline, as we would have to set times for meals at the Retreat Center, but other than that we were willing to wait on Holy Spirit. And this became our most discussed part of the planning. How to plan a retreat without plans.

And that is my life, how to make plans without making plans beyond that next step. I was often asked where we were going and what we planned on doing after David decided to go ahead and retire. I think I worried many friends and family with my reply…I only know we are retiring, beyond that I don’t know. We put out feelers for staying in Chinle, but no place to live showed up.

Keeping our balance with one foot in front of the other waiting for that next step to appear has become a balancing act. Staying upright and not falling to one side or the other, or jumping ahead to the next step, or to make something up so the ones questioning can be silenced. That is our new normal. And actually now I feel I have a few steps in front of me laid out and that is my new scary. I don’t want to get ahead of Holy Spirit. Our next steps might actually just be one giant step. We are going home for Christmas, coming back to Costa Rica in January and moving into a small apartment at the Nazarene Seminary next to our church and I will be co-teaching a series to prepare some of our congregation to learn about Transformation Prayer Ministry.

Even laying that out makes my head spin. But I need to be careful and not get ahead of myself and especially not ahead of God…for now, my step is to work on my teachings for Casa Vida and to take the TPM classes in Alajuela. Both should prepare me for when we return in the new year.

Sweet Memories

Sitting here this morning waiting to see if it would rain.  A few drops here and there, but now it is raining.  What the Navajo would call a “female rain”. Gently and steadily falling, soaking into the ground, watering the plants. I have opened the arcadia door and the window next to the table so I can hear and smell the rain.  I have to say, it does not smell like the rain in Arizona.  That is a smell unique to the desert and I am a long way from the desert. But it is very pleasant and refreshing.

The sound takes me back to a time when my sister, Jan and I were coming home from ASU to the mobile home that my parents had bought when my dad retired.  It was my first year of college and Jan had gone back in her 30’s to finish her degree. We had carpooled that day and had pulled up to the house and were sitting in the car waiting for the rain to let up.  We could see under the patio awning our dad struggling to put together a barbeque that he must have bought that day. My dad cooked one thing and he was master at it, and that was steak. We had a fabulous built in grill in our house in Tempe and he would grill on the back patio sometimes during the ASU football season for friends and family.

We didn’t want to get soaked so we sat there just chatting and watching as dad got more and more frustrated with the assembly process.  At one point we could swear that the legs were coming out of the inside of the bowl. We got to laughing really hard but decided we needed to get out of the car and save the barbeque and whatever was within dad’s reach before he started throwing things. Now anyone that knew my dad, knew he was not at all what you would call handy and we always joked about how he thought a hammer was the tool to fix everything.  So, before the hammer came out, we got out of the car and ran over to help.

We sent dad inside to get a beer and watch TV and we took a look at the project. Now in dad’s defense, the box did not come with directions, only a paper with a picture of a couple of barbeques, none of which matched the one he had bought. So in-between our laughing and trying to figure out what model he had bought we disassembled what had been done and tried to match the picture as best as we could. We put it together and took it apart about 3 times before we were satisfied that it was indeed a barbeque that would do the job it was intended for.

For 30+ years this became a favorite memory that Jan and I periodically would bring up and today it was a sweet reminder of my sister, who was always there for me. She was the one that even when she did not agree with me, like home-schooling, would be in my corner cheering me on.  So, Jan, here’s to you, looking forward to once again laughing with you as we share this story in eternity.

TWO TOWERS...intro to new study I am writing

Strongholds…good or bad

We all have a need for security

We all desire to feel safe and wanted and loved

We will either have a stronghold that is built by another or we will build one for ourselves

What are some of the reasons we build our strongholds?

·         We are afraid

·         We are alone or at least feel alone

·         We have been hurt and we want to feel protected from that hurt and to never feel it again

·         We think no one else will take care of us

·         We feel unloved or unlovable

·          We don’t trust God to meet all of our needs

·         We think we deserve to be walled up and alone

·         We are afraid to let others really know us

·         We know that there are those that are seeking to harm us, whether physically, emotionally, spiritually, mentally

So because of all these fears and lack of trust we build our little fort around us to basically keep the world out and what we are clinging to inside with us.  Because we are not trusting God to build our tower we are in essence believing the lies that the enemy is telling us.  We are trusting in our own strength and giving into the same temptation that Adam and Eve fell for in the Garden….we can do this ourselves and no one will be as good at taking care of us as we are.

The reason this is false is because we tend to lie to ourselves as much as we lie to others.  We give in to the fear and lose all sense of reason.  Instead of acting, we continue to react to situations and people.  We do not trust God or believe He is able to provide complete protection.

There are lies we know we will have to give up if we allow God to be our stronghold and we still love them too much to let them go.  Whether it be sin, or fear, or being the victim, or habits, it is so much a part of us that we cannot imagine us without it.  We feel it defines us.  We give it the power to be god in our life.

Until we come to the point where we see it for the lie it is…or we love God more than whatever is holding us back, we will remain in a crumbling tower held together by lies.  But this is not the picture we get of a stronghold given to us by David in the Psalms.

When we were on the train passing near the area of Stirling, Scotland, as we looked out the window at the passing countryside we were amazed to see a huge tower off in the distance.  It was on a hill and was the tallest structure to be seen anywhere around.  It was magnificent and imposing and we wondered at what in the world it could be.  Was it some majestic castle that had survived the years?  It was not too long before we came to realize that it was the William Wallace Memorial and it stood as a reminder to a time when Scotland had defeated the British in the fighting for their independence.  From that time we decided we needed to get a closer look.  We asked around in the train station at Stirling and found that it was not in Stirling but a smaller town a few miles away.  It was not close enough to walk to but we were told that we could get there by bus.  We opted to take the Red Bus, which was a tour bus that went all around Stirling to its major sites and also into the countryside by the Memorial as well as the other direction to Bannockburn where there was a memorial to the Bruce.

It took a few days but we finally had made our way to Stirling and we purchased our tickets and sat on the bus and listened as our driver told us some of the history of the area as we traveled around the city and then into the countryside.  We passed the river and the fields where the battles had taken place and were told how Wallace had outwitted the English soldiers and caught them in a marshy area and caused them to be defeated because they were forced to march in single file and the weight of their equipment made it impossible for them to fight.  Basically the Scots just waited for them and picked them off one by one.

We were dropped off in a parking lot at the base of the hill and told we could either walk up the hill to the Monument or wait and take a shuttle up.  Not wanting to wait and especially not wanting to pay extra for the shuttle we started the walk up the hill.  That climb probably took 20-30 minutes.  When we got to the tower I was quite tired so went into their little café and had some tea while my husband roamed around outside taking pictures.

When my husband, David, came in he was ready to make the climb to the top, I was not so sure I wanted to pay but was talked into it.  It is a round tower and the steps follow the circular curve all the way to the top.  It is much wider than most towers and had slits along the way so that it was not dark and the steps were wide enough that you could pass those on their way down with just a little bit of caution, but the one to the inside of the circle would have a tiny place in which to place their feet.  For the most part you prayed that no one was on their way down as you were ascending.  Just when I thought my lungs would explode and my legs would give out we came to a landing with a large room off of the staircase.  I have never been so thankful for a place to rest and catch my breath.  I believe there were three such much need landing places along the upward spiral.  Each room was interesting with maps and various articles of interest to look at while catching one’s breath.  I think the most interesting article was William Wallace’s sword.  It was so massive I could hardly believe anyone could use it in a fight.  It was about 6 feet long and looked like it weighed a ton.  Wallace must have been a large and imposing figure himself to wield such a sword.

We finally took our last step and broke through to the top of the tower.  For all the discomfort I had endured it was more the worth the effort.  The view was amazing and the heights were dizzying.  I laughed at how low the lip was around the top of the tower.  There is no way you could be on top of such a structure in the U.S. with such a short wall between you and certain death.  As I caught my breath I could see in the top of the short wall was a relief map of the surrounding countryside.  Everything was marked so you could see where all the geographical features were.  Also along with the geography was a short narrative of what had happened at each location.  You could look down and see where the English troops had been forced to go single file and see where the Scots had waited for them.  You could see off into the distance to Bannockburn and Stirling.  The castle at Stirling was visible and beautiful up on its own hill.  The rolling fields and the rivers came to life as you read what had happened in each place.  It was awe inspiring. 

And then I stopped and took in the tower itself.  With magnificent arches and intricate stonework it was a masterpiece that had been set on hill for all to see.  Not only did it point to a past with pride but it stood in a place of honor and pointed to one that it felt was worthy of being remembered.  There you forgot the defeats the Scots had suffered and only thought of what they had accomplished.  Never had the English suffered such a loss and never would the Scots win such a victory as they had on this battlefield.

I am telling you all of this because I want to use this tower as a picture of the Stronghold that Jesus wants to be in our lives.  A strong and mighty tower that David refers to in the Psalms.  A place of refuge and strength.  A mighty fortress, a place of safety and refreshing and a place where we can look out over all the Lord has done in our life and offer Him praise and thanksgiving.

Our tower is not to be built by hands, but by the Holy Spirit.  The foundation is to be on the rock so that it can withstand all forms of adversity.  Our cornerstone is Jesus and what He did for us on the cross.  Our sins forgiven and the ransom paid for our souls.  The stones that go into the building of our tower are the redeemed acts in our lives, where we allow Holy Spirit to take our hurts, our pains, our sorrows and turn them into healing and wellness and joy.  The sins we have committed and have been forgiven are taken from rubble and turned into victory and shown as part of the story of our life.  And those things that have been done against us by the enemy are cleaned and polished into gemstones that reflect God’s love for us.  And all of this is held together by the mortar of love.  And not just any love, but pure agape love...

This picture is very different from the tower that we walked to in Ireland.  On the Galway Bay there is a tiny village called Bell Harbor.  We were fortunate enough to rent a holiday home here for a week.  At Daly’s we became fast friends with many of the locals.  They were exactly what you would expect from a small rural Irish town.  They loved to talk and tell stories and crack jokes and they were very proud of their piece of Ireland. One of the couples we met invited us over to go see the watch tower, built there as a lookout hundreds of years ago, that was on the Bay behind their home. 

We stopped by one afternoon and went on a lovely walk, over fences and through cow pastures to the tower.  From the direction we approached it looked like it was in pretty good shape for such an ancient structure.  But as we got closer we could see where massive chunks had fallen and crashed to the ground.  Ivy was growing in several areas and in some of the areas it seemed to be the only thing holding the giant stones together.  As we walked around to the other side we could see that it was in complete ruins.  Returning to the first side and looking up I could see what must have been a magnificent structure with arches and floors and windows but now was only a shadow of what had been.

This tower reminds me of what our towers look like when we either try to build it for ourselves or let the enemy do it.  I was cautious of getting too close to the structure as there were giant stones that looked like they could come tumbling down at any moment.  There was no protection from the weather and it certainly could not be used as either a watchtower or place of sanctuary any more.

This tower pictures us trying desperately to build up walls around us to keep us safe only to have the walls crumble or even come crashing down on our heads.  Built on shifting sand and not the Rock, piling up our hurts and sins to hide behind.  Built because of fear and held together by the lies the enemy tells us.  We may whitewash the outside or even paint beautiful pictures on the uneven surfaces to try and   disguise the true appearance but this tower will never provide the safety and security that we are looking for.

Hopefully you can picture these two very different towers in your mind as we explore what is and what is not meant to be our place of refuge.  A mighty tower not built by hands but built by our loving Father for our own good.  A secret place where we are in the presence of the King of the Universe and have been called to be there as the Beloved.

Let’s learn how to run to the tower that Jesus is for us…to run in and experience joy and safety in the presence of our King.  A place where fear and lies have no place.  A place where our happiness and satisfaction come from the only true source of either, a deep and satisfying relationship with God the Father that was planned before the beginning of the world. After all, it is for freedom that we have been set free. (Galatians 5:1a)

We are unique in all of creation

(This is the message I gave to Grace Fellowship Community Church on May 29,2016)

We are unique in all of creation…and each of us is unique among the unique…there is no one exactly like us, nor will there ever be.

When God created man he had each and every one of us in mind.  He knew that Adam had an infinite number of variations that could come from the DNA that God had designed him to carry.  God is not surprised by who we are…in fact He is delighted.  Now we may say to ourselves that there is no way God is delighted with me, and then we go on to list the reasons in our mind of why we are displeasing to our Creator.  In Romans 8, Paul gives us an idea of God’s plan when he created man.  Let’s look at the Message Bible…

^29-30 God knew what he was doing from the very beginning. He decided from the outset to shape the lives of those who love him along the same lines as the life of his Son. The Son stands first in the line of humanity he restored. We see the original and intended shape of our lives there in him. After God made that decision of what his children should be like, he followed it up by calling people by name. After he called them by name, he set them on a solid basis with himself. And then, after getting them established, he stayed with them to the end, gloriously completing what he had begun.

I want us to stop right now and take a look at what it means to be “created in God’s image”.

Created in God’s image and destined to become like Jesus…

Let’s take a look at the very beginning of our story…

Genesis 1:26-31 and expanded on this in Genesis 2:5-25

From this account of how we were created what do we learn about man?

·       Created in God’s image…male and female…three parts

·       Formed by God’s hands

·       God breathed into Adam’s nostrils to make him alive

·       Eve formed from a part of Adam

·       Given total authority over the earth

·       Told to be fruitful

·       Given a job

·       Brilliant…able to name and distinguish between all of the animals

·       Adam and Eve were perfect for each other

·       They were to help each other and complement

·       Perfect health

·       Could live forever

·       Spirit was alive and able to commune face to face with God

·       Emotions were healthy

·       No fear, anger, hate, unhealthy competition

Adam was created to be in charge of all of creation.  He had the authority over every living thing. So if we were to look at a chart of who was in charge….you would see God at the top…Adam next….the angels…and then all of creation.

What Adam did not realize is that with eating of the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil, he not only died spiritually and then began to die physically, he gave his authority to the devil.  That is why Satan was able to say to Jesus when he was tempting him in the wilderness that he would give Jesus the world.  He actually was able to make that offer because he was in charge and had been since the fall.

Hebrews tells us in the second chapter that Jesus was made a little lower than the angels for a little while when he came to earth born as a human child.  But that all changed when Jesus went to the cross.  He conquered death and sin and He also put Satan back into his position as being under mankind, at least under redeemed mankind because they/we are in Jesus.

So back to Adam losing his authority.  What are some of the things that happened because he in essence had sold his and our birthright?

·       Hard work

·       Thorns

·       Weeds

·       Sweat of his brow

·       A constant struggle between men and women

·       Pain in childbirth

·       Enmity with animals

·       Not as intelligent

·       Worry, fear, doubt, confusion, hate etc

·       Selfish

·       Sickness

·       Death

·       War

·       Famine

·       Drought

·       Floods, earthquakes, hurricanes, tsunamis

Let’s try and picture what it was like…one moment everything is perfect and the next you are scared to death…

Why did Adam hide after he had sinned?  Because he knew he was no longer connected to God.

Think back to how Adam was created.  God actually formed him with his own two hands.  Made him absolutely perfect and then instead of speaking him alive as He had done with the rest of his creation, he blew into his nostrils His very own spirit. 

Let’s think what happens when we inhale.  Oxygen comes in, along with some other gases but we are going to concentrate on Oxygen here, and it goes into our lungs.  From the lungs it enters our bloodstream and then is taken to every cell in our body.  Without Oxygen the cell dies, so in order for the cell to continue to live it must be supplied with Oxygen.  Now let’s change our picture to Adam lying there lifeless and God breathes His Spirit into Adam.  The same way that Oxygen travels throughout the body, I believe God’s Spirit flowed and touched absolutely 100% of Adam.  There was no place where the Spirit was not present and alive.

So what happened to Adam when he sinned.  That same spirit that had been breathed in by God instantly died.  And when that spirit died, Adam lost that connection he had previously enjoyed with God.  So, when God comes looking for him, giving him a chance to repent and come before Him, Adam hides because he felt exposed and for the first time he is deathly afraid.  Adam is vulnerable and no longer in charge and he knows it.

When Jesus ascended He gave the disciples the Holy Spirit and told them they had authority.

John 20:22-23 Jesus breathed on His disciples the Holy Spirit.  Here again we get the picture of God’s Spirit entering into man the same way that Oxygen enters and goes into every cell.  Later in the upper room we see Holy Spirit coming in power on everyone gathered there in prayer.  A mighty, rushing wind that fills each one. 

Once again we see a picture of being spiritually made alive.  And with that life of the Spirit comes authority and power.  We are told to go into all the world and tell about Jesus and what He has done. We are also told we are to do the same things that Jesus did, heal the sick, raise the dead, cast out demons, in fact, we are to do it even more than He did.  We are told that we do not go alone, because now we have God’s Spirit dwelling inside of us.  We have changed position with the devil…he no longer is the prince of this world…except in the lives of those that allow him to still have the rule.  Legally he was defeated but in our reality he is still lying and deceiving any who will listen to him.

At Pentecost they received power…they already had the Holy Spirit

When we are born again we are sealed by Holy Spirit.  Our spirit is made alive and that part of us that was dead because of Adam is made alive because of Jesus.

That we need to be living like this is true and not just something we have heard.  Revival is coming to this place.  There have been many words spoken confirming that the indigenous peoples of the western world will be the ones to bring revival to our country.

I was part of a Foursquare church before coming up here and in their newsletter I saw that they are having their annual conference in Hawaii this year.  A local Hawaiian pastor was talking about the words that are being spoken to the first people of the western hemisphere…and about the different outpourings happening among the indigenous people groups….native Americans  ….islanders…Alaskan natives…the indigenous of South America and Central America…all over the Spirit of God is moving in revival and miracles.  We are promised in Revelation that every tribe and nation and tongue/dialect will be there worshiping God and the Lamb.