March 1, 2012

March 1, 2012

I listened to the introductory video of Beth Moore’s Breaking Free this morning. It reminded me again why we had done the study as a precursor to teaching our first Tiara Ladies Retreat. She had a great definition for a stronghold and I may have to listen to the video again so that I can steal it. But basically what it boils down to: anything that preoccupies our mind in such a way that we cannot see God’s power to break through the situation has become a stronghold in our life. Isn’t it true that as Christians we can believe that God is capable of doing anything but He just won’t intervene in our particular lives; at least not in that area that we worry to death about. These are the things that either wake us up or keep us awake in the wee hours of the night. It can be fear, lack of control, oppression by others, insecurities, depression, financial insecurities, emotional, mental, inabilities in areas we feel we should be good at, addictions, and the list goes on and on.

We battle this thing day after day and we live lives of quiet desperation, afraid that someone will find out our truth and think less of us as Christians. We put on the face we want others to see and keep hidden this deep dark secret in hopes that someday it will be better. But as long as we keep it hidden or deny that it even exists it is slowly building stronger and stronger each and every day. Only the power of Christ can tear down these strongholds. Anything we do in our own strength will only put a coat of fresh paint on the façade; much like Jesus’ picture of the Pharisees being white-coated sepulchers.

Sitting here three years after the first retreat I am reminded of my journey since then. I had finished a season selling smoothies at the baseball stadium and we had been planning on opening 2 permanent locations. We no longer have the business, have settled all the debt with the banks, had our house foreclosed. David was part of a reduction in force at his school district, so he is no longer employed; we settled our personal debt with the bank. We have down-sized three times. We went from a house to an apartment with my husband getting a large storage facility for his art stuff. We then went from the apartment to 2 rooms at my daughter’s house. At this time I gave away to the kids most of the keepsakes and mementos that we had plus most of the artwork on the walls as well as most of the furniture. We have just down-sized even more with the expectation that God may be moving us to some kind of ministry. David completely emptied his 10 by 20 storage and now all we have fits in ¼ of a garage. And even so, my first thought when we got to Tambor, I have brought too much stuff. The next time out we will pack much lighter.

I sit here with a feeling of expectancy, wondering what the Lord has in store for us next. I believe we are here for a reason and so my prayer is Lord use me to show your glory.

I would laugh to myself when people would want to come with us to spend two months in Costa Rica. I would think, sure you can come; just get rid of almost everything you have, have no hope of financial success and you can come with us. It will be fun!

What a journey and the thing that is amazing me is this is just the preliminary stuff; we haven’t even begun to do what we are meant to be doing.