One Step at a Time

One Step at a Time

This is the journey I have been on for the last couple of years. As David and I have been seeking Jesus for His guidance as to what we should be doing with the rest of our lives. It has been a slow and steady process of taking just one step and only one step at a time.

If I were to put a timeline together for this season in my walk, I believe I would have to start with the Tiara Ladies preparing for a retreat. We had decided to do a retreat at Breath of Life in Pine over the Labor Day Weekend of 2017. Our lovely ladies that attend our retreats fall into two categories, those that sign up right away and those that wait until the last minute. But by the beginning of August we only had one person sign up and absolutely no one else even saying they were interested. At that point we felt like we needed to take a step back and hear from Jesus about whether to go forward and pray in more ladies or cancel the retreat or possibly step away from Tiara Ladies as a ministry. I think we all felt like we were missing something and chose to cancel the retreat and meet together in the mountains over that same weekend.

We rented a large cabin and were a little surprised when we got there to see what it actually was like. The bedrooms and bathrooms upstairs were laid out in a bazaar manner, as if someone had just added them on willynilly. The stairs were creaky and kind of scary to walk up. And the décor was eastern with a Buddhist and Hindu theme. Even though there were pictures on the website it did not show some of the shortcomings. But we decided to make the best of it and we ventured on with the mini retreat. It did have some amazing outdoor spaces which we took full advantage of in the morning.

That evening after we ate, we met together in the living room to do an exercise that our lovely friend Jenny had sent to us.  This exercise incorporated art with Scripture. We first worshipped with song, took time with a passage from the Bible and then spent alone time listening to Holy Spirit. We each then drew what it was that we were hearing, seeing, feeling, sensing from God.  For some of us this was difficult, as we are not comfortable expressing ourselves through drawing. As we were sharing what our pictures meant to us and what Holy Spirit was speaking to us individually and corporately the electricity went out because of the storm that was going on outside. We found candles and finished that part of the discussion. And even though it was early, we decided to go to bed. We set the coffee maker and brushed our teeth and went to sleep.

In the morning, as we each got up, we got our coffee and went and sat on the deck. It was a beautiful and peaceful morning. Fresh from the rains the night before. Birds and squirrels and elk were our companions. We would sit in silence, we would chat, we would share what was going on in our walks, there was no agenda and there was no hurry and it was so completely what we were supposed to do in that moment. It was probably one of my most “spiritual” encounters of any retreat I have been to, up to that point. We kept returning to what we had experienced the night before with the art exercise and how we could take that to a group of ladies at retreat.

Later that day we talked about how perfect the morning had been. No alarms had been set. Some woke up early and others got some much-needed rest. We had made no plans but allowed Holy Spirit to lead us and our conversations. This became the basis for our Creative Catalyst Retreat.  Art inspired worship and no plans.  Just a rough timeline, as we would have to set times for meals at the Retreat Center, but other than that we were willing to wait on Holy Spirit. And this became our most discussed part of the planning. How to plan a retreat without plans.

And that is my life, how to make plans without making plans beyond that next step. I was often asked where we were going and what we planned on doing after David decided to go ahead and retire. I think I worried many friends and family with my reply…I only know we are retiring, beyond that I don’t know. We put out feelers for staying in Chinle, but no place to live showed up.

Keeping our balance with one foot in front of the other waiting for that next step to appear has become a balancing act. Staying upright and not falling to one side or the other, or jumping ahead to the next step, or to make something up so the ones questioning can be silenced. That is our new normal. And actually now I feel I have a few steps in front of me laid out and that is my new scary. I don’t want to get ahead of Holy Spirit. Our next steps might actually just be one giant step. We are going home for Christmas, coming back to Costa Rica in January and moving into a small apartment at the Nazarene Seminary next to our church and I will be co-teaching a series to prepare some of our congregation to learn about Transformation Prayer Ministry.

Even laying that out makes my head spin. But I need to be careful and not get ahead of myself and especially not ahead of God…for now, my step is to work on my teachings for Casa Vida and to take the TPM classes in Alajuela. Both should prepare me for when we return in the new year.